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HardLox 2018 is Coming!

The 2018 HardLox Jewish Food and Heritage Festival is coming back!

Sunday, October 14th, 2018 in downtown Asheville, NC

The Greatest HardLox Raffle Ever!
Ten grand prize baskets.
One hundred gift certificates​.

Click here to go to the HardLox website for all the information!

The Cavity

A dentist was examining a new patient. “Oh, my” he said. “This is the biggest cavity I’ve ever seen. The biggest cavity I’ve ever seen.”

“Was that really necessary?” asked the patient.

“What do you mean?”

“I’m frightened enough as it is. Why did you repeat yourself about the size of the cavity?”

“I didn’t,” said the dentist. “That was the echo.”

Sometimes in life, one must just say it twice.

From Life’s Little Jewish Instruction Book – Leonard Sorcher

  • The optometrist sees the donuts. The pessimist sees the hole.
  • If you can’t say something nice, say it in Yiddish.

  • It’s not who you know. It’s who you know had a nose job.
  • If it tastes good, it’s probably not Kosher.

  • Who else could’ve invented the 50 – minute hour?
  • WASPs never leave and never say good-bye. Jews say good – bye and never leave.

  • Twenty percent off is a bargain. 50% off a Mitzvah.
  • Israel is the land of milk and honey. Florida the land of milk of magnesia.

  • Pork is forbidden. A pig in a blanket makes a nice hors d’oeuvre.
  • The High Holidays have absolutely nothing to do with marijuana.

  • Where there is smoke. There may be smoked salmon.
  • Never take a front row seat at a bris.

  • Never leave a restaurant empty-handed.
  • Spring ahead. Fall back. Winter in Miami Beach.

  • According to Jewish dietary law, pork and shellfish can be eaten only in a Chinese restaurant.
  • No meal is complete without leftovers.

  • What business is a yenta in? Yours.
  • Laugh now. One day you’ll be driving a big car and eating dinner at four in the afternoon.
  • Schmeer today, gone tomorrow.

Perspective Matters

A resident arrived to these shores was trying to orient himself to his new land.
“Tell me something” he asked a friend. “How far is it from New York to Philadelphia?”

About 100 miles,” answered the friend.

And from Philadelphia to New York?”

Why, it is the same distance, naturally.”

What’s so natural, retorted the newcomer. Backwards and forwards is not necessarily the same distance.
For example, from Purim to Passover is one month. But from Passover to Purim, isn’t it 11 months?”

Professor Higgins: “Good morning sir. How are you?”
Professor Einstein: “Relative to what?”

…and everything is, isn’t it?

Israel Trip – Final day

It’s the last night in Israel for most of the group as we depart for the return to Asheville. We’ve had a marvelous trip, very educational and very entertaining. We’ve had joyous times and emotional times that have left none of us unchanged. We know Israel and each other much better.

Thanks for reading and please don’t hesitate to speak to us upon our return,

Marty and the rest of the gang.