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Humor Corner – September 2020



A Rabbi is walking slowly out of a Schul in New York when a gust of wind blows his hat down the street. He is an old man with a cane and can’t walk fast enough to catch his hat. Across the street a man sees what has happened and rushes out to grab his hat and returns it to the Rabbi. “I don’t think I would have been able to catch my hat.” The Rabbi says. “Thank you very much.” The Rabbi places his hand on the man’s shoulder and says, “May God bless you.”

The young man thinks to himself, “I’ve been blessed by the Rabbi. This must be my lucky day.”  Soon he goes to the racetrack and in the first race he sees there is a horse named Stetson at 20 to 1.

He bets $50 and sure enough the horse comes I first. In the 2nd race he sees a horse named Fedora at 30 to 1, so he bets it all and this horse comes in first also. Finally, at the end of the day he returns home to his wife who asks him where he’s been. He explains how he caught the Rabbis’ hat and was blessed by him and went to the track and started winning on horses that had a hat in their names.

“So where is the money?” she says. “I lost it all in the 9th race. I bet on a horse named Chateau and it lost.” “you fool!” she said. “Chateau is a house. Chapeau is a hat.”

“It does not matter,” he said, ’the winner was some Japanese horse named Yamulka.”

Lotte Meyerson Tikkun Olam News – September 2020



UPCOMING SCHEDULED LOTTE MEYERSON TIKKUN OLAM PROJECTS:

1st Friday each month from 1-3 PM @ MANNA– CBHT volunteer team. Contact Wendy Capelouto to help.

3rd Friday each month @ noon – CBHT Vets shelter meal serving. Contact Hilary Paradise to help.

Monday, November 30th – 4:30 PM, Next L.M. Tikkun Olam Meeting

600+ Jewish Organizations and Synagogues say: Black Lives Matter

CBHT has joined with groups ranging from small congregations to the three major Jewish denominations (Union of Reform Judaism, United Synagogue of Conservative Judaism, and Reconstructionist Rabbinical Association), which collectively represent more than half of all Jewish people in America, to issue the statement below which will soon be printed in a national newspaper.

We are Jewish organizations and synagogues from across the racial and political spectrum, from different streams of Judaism, whose members trace their lineage from countries around the world.  We speak with one voice when we say, unequivocally: Black Lives Matter.  We support the Black-led movement in this country that is calling for accountability and transparency from the government and law enforcement.  We know that freedom and safety for any of us depends on the freedom and safety of all of us.

There are politicians and political movements in this country who build power by deliberately manufacturing fear to divide us against each other.  All too often, antisemitism is at the center of these manufactured divisions.  There is a long history to these attempts: during the Southern Freedom Movement of the 1950s and 1960s, conspiracy theories were used by white supremacists attempting to delegitimize the extraordinary organizing of Black activists.  Billboards were erected smearing Dr. Martin Luther King, Jr. as a communist, signs and flyers claiming that “communist Jews” were masterminding the civil rights movement were common, and pro-segregation organizations like the John Birch Society popularized these lies.

The Black Lives Matter movement is the current day Civil Rights movement in this country, and it is our best chance at equity and justice.  By supporting this movement, we can build a country that fulfills the promise of freedom, unity, and safety for all of us, no exceptions.

The Lotte Meyerson Tikkun Olam Committee is in the process of planning a series of conversations and discussion groups for the fall around the issue of racism and anti-Semitism, including reading/book groups and media (video/podcasts/etc.) viewing groups.  Look for the first one during Yom Kippur day as a preview.

Election 2020

November 3rd is fast approaching.  Your choices this year are to vote in person during early voting or on election day, or to vote in the safety and comfort of your own home by using the Absentee (Mail-in) Ballot.  We recommend the Absentee Ballot mainly for the simplicity of filing and the reduced health risk during the Covid Pandemic.  You can obtain an Absentee Ballot on-line or through the mail.  We recommend on-line at:

https://s3.amazonaws.com/dl.ncsbe.gov/Forms/NCAbsenteeBallotRequestForm.pdf

Your completed Absentee Ballot can be returned after being completed by October 27th to:

  • Mail it to: O. Box 7468, Asheville, NC 28802
  • Hand deliver it to the drop box located in the entryway to the Election Service office at

77 McDowell Street, Asheville

  • Email the completed form to elections@buncombecounty.org
  • Fax the completed form to 250.6262
  • If your live in another county, contact your local Election Services office.

Recently you may have received an unsolicited NC Absentee Ballot in the mail.  These ballot request forms were

Book Share Update

As most of you know our congregation has supported the collection of children’s picture books by donating these reading materials since 2011.  Since that first drive, we have collected and donated over 6000 books to give to children in Buncombe County who have not entered kindergarten.  It has been our custom to have the book drive every other year during Rosh Hashanah.  It just so happens that we had this drive last fall so thankfully 2020 is not the year to ask you to donate these books.

Over the last five years the books have mostly been given to the children at the Pisgah View Head Start classrooms where our congregation has made our home volunteering with the preschool children there.  During the course of each school year we have had several Book Shares where children get to select a book they want from many, many choices.  During this past school year, we had to stop volunteering in March due to Covid.  To get these books into the children’s hands, we decided to give all of the books to the preschool where the teachers will distribute them to the children during this upcoming school year.  It was important for your gifts of these books getting into the children’s hands even though we could not continue the volunteering and Book Shares as we had been doing.

So please get prepared for our next children’s picture book drive for the Fall of 2021.  At that point, we will be in great need to re-boot our efforts in supporting reading for our preschool children who need that level of support.

Sisterhood News August 22, 2020




“Apples & Honey”

Rosh Hashanah Greetings from CBHT SISTERHOOD

High Holiday GOODIE BAGS will be distributed in a drive-by on Wed. Sept. 16, 4-7 pm at the Temple front entrance:

Honey cake from Green’s in Brooklyn, local honey & apples and virtual holiday hugs from Rabbi and Sisterhood.

Don’t miss out: first come-first served; RSVP to JudyKinAsheville@gmail.com.

Humour Corner (at times, one must be a Brit) August, 2020



“To attract men, I wear a perfume called New Car Interior.”

Rita Rudner


“My friends tell me I have an intimacy problem. But they don’t really know me.”

Gary Shandling


My grandfather always said, “Don’t watch your money; watch your health.” So, one day while I was watching my health, someone stole my money. It was my grandfather.

Jackie Mason


A Jewish grandmother is watching her grandchild playing on the beach when a huge wave comes and takes him out to sea. She pleads, “please God, save my only grandson. I beg of you, bring him back.” And a big wave comes and washes the boy back onto the beach, good as new. She looks up to heaven and says: “He had a hat!”

Myron Cohen


A car hits a Jewish man. The paramedic rushes over and says, “Are you comfortable?” The guy says: “I make a good living.”

Henny Youngman


“I went to a fight the other night and a hockey game broke out”.

Rodney Dangerfield


“TV commercials now show you how detergents take out bloodstains, a pretty violent image there. I think if you’ve got a T-shirt with a bloodstain all over it, maybe laundry isn’t your biggest problem.”

Jerry Seinfeld


And to get ready for the High Holy Days

A guy has a parrot that can sing and speak beautifully. He takes it to the synagogue on Rosh Hashanah and makes a wager that the bird can conduct the High Holiday service better than the temple’s cantor. When the big moment comes, though, the parrot is silent. The guy is outraged. He takes the bird home and is about to kill it when the bird finally speaks: “Schmuck! Think of the odds we’ll get on Yom Kippur!”


Some of the above were compiled by Don Steinberg for GQ Magazine June 1999