Mort visits Dr. Saul, the veterinarian, and says, “Doc, my dog has a problem.”
“So, tell me about the dog and the problem.” says the Doc.
“It’s a Jewish dog. His name is Shel and he can talk,” says Mort.
“He can talk?” the doubting doctor asks.
“Watch this!” Mort points to the dog and commands, “Shel, Fetch!”
Shel the dog, begins to walk toward the door, then turns around and says,
“So why are you talking to me like that?
You always order me around like I’m nothing and you only call me when you want something, then you make me sleep on the floor, even with my arthritis.
Then you give me this fahkahkta food with all the salt and fat, and you tell me it’s a special diet. It tastes like dreck! YOU should eat it yourself!
And do you ever take me for a decent walk? NO, it’s out of the house, a short pish, and right back home.
Maybe if I could stretch out a little, the sciatica wouldn’t kill me so much! I should roll over and play dead for real for all you care!”
Doc Saul is amazed, “This is remarkable! So, what’s the problem here?”
Mort says, “He has a hearing problem! I said ‘Fetch’ not ‘Kvetch.”